Am I being too hard on myself?

We live in a society of perfectionism and validation. Go to any social media app, Instagram, Facebook, twitter, snapchat etc. and you will find someone putting a strong emphasis on how they look, behave and/or feel. Perfectionism tells us that we must always do better, there is always more to achieve, and that making mistakes are “failures.” As the saying goes “you are your worst enemy” however, this would not be true if we were not so hard on ourselves. No one is perfect and although we strive to be we really should not be too hard on ourselves trying to strive for perfectionism. Here are 5 things to remember when we are striving to be perfect or just too hard on ourselves:


1.    Life is too short. Think about all the times we have worked so hard to meet others expectations. Instead of working hard to please them, we could have been working hard to improve ourselves for personal growth and reflection and not just for others.


2.    Accept what you cannot change. It is much easier to blame others for our mistakes but sometimes, we have to accept what is, what was and what will be.


3.    Celebrate your accomplishments-whether big or small. As stated in the first reason, life is too short. Be sure that you are celebrating your victories even if they are small.


4.    Learn from your mistakes. Life is hard and life is not perfect. However, when you are in control of who you are and know who you are, making mistakes will be a learning curve. Mistakes are meant to be made and that is how you become resilient.


5.    Stop comparing. The hardest lesson I have had to learn is to stop comparing myself to others. The only person you should try to be better than is who you were on yesterday.


We will all experience a few bumps in the road but eventually the road will get smooth again. Rejoice in the fact that you can overcome any challenge that has been thrown your way and focus on counting your blessings, staying in tuned with who you are and focusing on your own journey. As the late Maya Angelou said “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”




Dejerica Tinsley